day 3

Salutations! I'm really bored in driver's ed right now. Day three begins. Within the first 30 seconds I realize I have made the terrible mistake of sitting next to my all time enemy: a loud gum chewer. So now I know this class will end in one of two ways. Either rudegumsmacker will be going home with a broken nose, or I will have exploded. I prefer option one due to my natural instinct of survival. I plot ways to successfully exterminate ChewyMcChewsloudly.
1. surprise attack from the side
2. Jump on top of my desk then proceed to jump on her head
my plotting is interrupted as a tapping foot catches my eye. Moving at warp speed, girl who pops gum twitches her foot, finding yet another way to annoy me. The movement in my peripheral vision is making me extremely motion sick. I must now use all strength I have to prevent a violent outburst...and a possible upchuck.
Just heard teacher say "ironicle."
I notice the girl on my other side has a slight potential to be normal. *Joy! She asks me to borrow a piece of paper. I respond with my best smile and she is successfully won over. I feel my teeth with my tongue to check for caught food...end up making a weird sucking noise. New friend looks over at me (so much for that).
Teacher says, "take out your homework" and some students reach in their bags or rustle papers...apparently that wasn't a joke. She-who-chews-obnoxiously sips a soda. I will literally dump that upside her head. I sense the girl look over at me...perhaps she can read my thoughts. I look around the room and notice there are many people missing today. I would trade lives with those absentees in a second. A strong smell of feet wafts in my direction. I write down the importance of feet.
Feet: allow you to walk, run, have a pedicure
It's six thirty, one hour until break during which I must call around to all of my friends and beg for a ride home. My family decided to celebrate their sovereignty from driver's ed by going out and leaving me to fend for myself at nine o'clock at night.
Teacher just said, "Guys...and ladies I'm talking to you too" Thank you, Sir feminist, for including us girls in your class as well. I look at my phone, no service. This will be a long night. A boy asks a question implying that he has been paying attention. I stare at him, dumbfounded. I can't even hear the teacher over Ms. I'mreallyannoyingcusichewmygumallloud, and even if I could how can anyone not be zoned out? I take out my earring and examine it for twenty minutes. I spend the remaining hour and a half staring at my desk.